Saix's Habit
by nomsayin13
Summary: Everyone has habits. Everyone. Even Nobodies with no hearts. That has always been used against them. Are habits the exception? Don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the Disney characters. This is supposed to be a funny story. *Note some of the characters have been slightly modified to enhance the humor of the story.


_I had a persistent yet funny idea a couple nights ago that wouldn't get out of my head. So naturally I took a little break from my Sonic series and wrote it down. What did I write exactly? Read and find out. Review and if you wish answer the question at the end_

_One heartless day in The Castle That Never Was…_

"Attteeennnnttt-chun!" Xemnas' loud voice rang throughout the entire room.

"Yes sir!"

"Yes sir!"

"Yes sir!"

"What now sir?!"

"Ready to listen sir!"

"I was playing a game sir!"

"Yes sir!"

"Yes sir!"

"I got it memorized sir!"

"Yes...sir?"

"Playing the bagpipes for ya sir!"

"Yes sir!"

"Yes sir!" All the voices from Organization XIII rang out in response. They all stared at him with either impatient or eager looks; mostly impatient though.

The Superior continued. "Meeting in the main room. Don't be late or else."

Everyone had heard that warning at least a billion times, but they all knew what it meant: they would be badly beaten by the Superior himself and sucked in by the darkness never to exist in the face of the...nothingness.

_One long *yawn* boring meeting later…_

Xemnas and Saïx stood in the now empty meeting room while the rest of the Organization members did their own thing. The leader and the second in command were silent for a moment. Then Xemnas spoke. "I think the meeting went rather well, don't you?"

"I think the meeting went well sir," Saïx replied eagerly.

Xemnas went on. "I think I'll go and admire Kingdom Hearts for a while out on the balcony."

"I think I'll go and admire Kingdom Hearts for a while out on the balcony," Saïx echoed in harmony. Xemnas raised an eyebrow at Saïx's odd behavior. He decided to put it to test.

"I like to watch...pink elephants eat...peanut butter right in front of me."

"I like to watch pink elephants eat peanut butter right in front of me," again the Luna Diviner repeated the Superior's lines perfectly. Then he frowned. "You like-"

"I was testing you." The Superior quickly replied.

"You were testing me?"

"I was testing you."

"Oh. Well, why sir?" Saïx asked.

"Why were you doing that?"

"Why was I doing what sir?"

"That!" Xemnas unintentionally yelled. "Repeating exactly what I say! Why do you do that?"

Saïx's face lit up as he caught on. "Oh that. You see sir, I have a terrible memory and it helps that I repeat what people say. And since I take most of my orders from you, sir-" Xemnas nodded with pride. "-I repeat everything you say."

"So you're a doer?"

"I'm a doer."

"I see." The Superior stroked his chin thoughtfully. "This technique you do is rather useful isn't it?"

"Yes sir it is," Saïx agreed. "Is that a problem sir?"

"Problem?" Xemnas paused for a moment on that word. Then he shook his head. "No problem at all. As long as you don't mindlessly repeat everything, I've no problem with it."

Saïx modestly smiled. "Thank you sir."

"Yes yes thank you si- Oh, now you've got me doing it!"

The Luna Diviner had to laugh at that. Then he regained his composure; he was in the same room as the Superior after all. Xemnas cleared his throat. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go admire Kingdom Hearts from the balcony."

Saïx nodded in acknowledgment. "I am going to go admire the pink elephants eating peanut butter from behind Axel."

"That's nic-" The leader cut himself off when he realized that Saïx didn't repeat him. He watched as his second in command stolled out of the room, out of sight. Then he too started out to his room. Well, I did tell him not to mindlessly repeat himself, Xemnas thought.

_ Random big room 2 hours later_

The organization members were all hanging out when Xemnas appeared at the door. All chatter and activity ceased as the members awaited his orders, or something important like that. The Superior cleared his throat, then spoke. "I have a question for all of you that requires an answer. And it is this: do or did any of you have a habit that saved you from the bitterness of life?"

"I speak in a Scottish accent," Lexaeus's harsh voice thundered.

"Yarrgh I speak with me pirate accent," Xigbar too spoke.

"Okay," Xemnas began, "and how exactly does that benefit you two in real life?" The two Nobodies opened their mouths to speak. "Other than make you sound tougher?" The Superior beat them. The two remained silent. "Exactly, but at the same time I somewhat respect the fact that your accents make things so terribly interesting." Sarcasm was heard in his voice. "In fact, I am so culturally challenged that I just barely notice it at all."

The other members raised an eyebrow at his strange behavior. A few members laughed. Ignoring the laughter, the leader went on. "The reason I ask this is that I have recently discovered Saïx has a habit that allows him to remember things sufficiently. And that technique benefits his memory and gets him to follow my orders well."

"And what skill is that?" Axel asked.

"Repeating things back to the speaker to ensure he'll remember to do the task," the Superior replied.

Mutters of apathy were heard among the members. Finally Demyx started to walk off. "I'm going to play my sitar now."

"I'm going to play my sitar now," Xemnas echoed perfectly.

For a moment Demyx froze. The muttering turned from indifferent to disbelief. The muttering got stronger when Xemnas actually turned around and started straight to Demyx's room. "H-hey! Come back!" As he ran off after his boss, the members cackled in laughter.

"Did I see what I thought I saw?" Larxene asked in between laughter.

A chorus of snorts confirmed her answer. Once everyone calmed down, evil ideas shot into their heads, and they all wanted to try them on the Superior himself. One look from everyone said the exact same message. Demyx appeared in the room and he too wanted to play the game with the Superior.

"The Superior! He's coming this way!" Demyx announced the very thing that everybody in the organization was thinking.

"Me first!" Larxene shouted. Protests followed her response as the group argued. Xaldin slapped Zexion and Lexaeus clotheslined Xaldin. The room turned into a fight club. Right then the Superior came in and saw all the fighting. He cleared his throat and all the fighting ceased, the members up each other's throats. Literally.

"I disappear for two seconds and you all-"

"I'm gonna get Xaldin some fried chicken," Xaldin interrupted.

"I'm gonna get Xaldin some fried chicken," the Superior echoed.

"With ranch," Roxas butt in.

"With ranch." Xemnas covered himself in the darkness and disappeared as soon as the darkness cleared. The Nobodies stared at the spot where Xemnas just left, then looked to Xaldin, who shrugged.

"I was hungry."

The Superior came back a moment later with hot steamy boxes that said 'Bush's Chicken'. Their mouths watered as everyone fought each other to get the first chicken. The Superior dropped the boxes and the ranch and let the members fight over the contents within. He shook his head at the outrageous immaturity. "Okay that is enough!" Xemnas shouted.

"Not quite," Luxord went over to the leader. "One in one chance you'll never be able to resist this one. I am going to flush my head down the toilet now." Groans of disgust followed his order.

Xemnas covered his head. Must resist! Too late. "I am going to flush my head down the toilet now." With that he marched off to the bathroom.

Roxas made a face. "He's actually going to do it?" Then he heard a flush. He scrunched up his face.

Everyone too scrunched up their faces. After that they stared at Luxord. "That was low even for you," Axel spoke what was on everyone's mind.

Luxord shrugged. "I wanted to test how far we can go. That is all."

Xemnas himself appeared at the door, hair drenched, an unpleasant odor filling the room. The members held their noses. They exchanged knowing glances with one another with one thought on their minds: he did it. He actually flushed his head down a toilet. Xemnas looked mad. "That is it! I've had enough! I am going to clean myself and I will punish all of you severely!"

Just then Saïx appeared at the doorway leading out of the main room. He saw his boss, covered in water, his teammates staring right at Xemnas in disbelief for some reason and...fried chicken? From Bush's? "Who gave you the fried chicken?" Saïx demanded hoping the members knew full well that they could be sacrificed into the darkness.

At that moment Lexaeus and Larxene appeared at his side. "Lad we need to talk to ya."

"Like now," Larxene added, making sure he saw her sheathed needles.

_Later…_

Saïx was eating a piece of leftover chicken from Bush's. Larxene was behind him, watching him like a hawk; she didn't want the fun to end. None of the Nobodies did. In fact, they wanted to keep bossing Xemnas around and making him answer to their beck and call for them, because it didn't happen that often. As loyal as Saïx was to the Superior, he can't help but think that he needed a break from taking orders from him. Everybody did. Saïx will have to stop them. Eventually.

Demyx walked over to the Luna Diviner, smirking widely. "Well whatcha think?"

"It's good, I suppose," he replied.

"No no, not the chicken," Demyx shook his head. "Having someone listen to you for once, take your every order?"

Saïx scrunched up his face thoughtfully. A part of him wanted to deny it and say that his loyalty was to Xemnas and only Xemnas. At the same time though, he had to admit having his boss listen to him for once was rather-

"Yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me!" Xigbar sang, playing the accordion rather badly. No one ever let him play the accordion anymore, but today was the exception. Mainly because everybody was happy that they got a well deserved break from serving the Superior. It was not every day that you got to be the boss. Or bosses rather.

As Saïx got to his feet, Demyx spoke. "By the way, where have you been?"

Saïx smirked. "Oh you know, watching pink elephants eat peanut butter right in front of me from behind Axel."

_QOTS: Which part made you laugh/smile in the story?_


End file.
